


Peter Learns to "Drive Stick"

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Short Stories! [39]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: "Stick" is exactly what you think it is, Butt Plugs, Car Sex, Don't Take This Too Seriously, Dorks in Love, Double Entendres, Driving, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Hand Jobs, Horny Peter Parker, M/M, Mild Smut, Semi-Public Sex, Spideypool - Freeform, Teasing, Trucks, Wade is a little shit, peter learns to drive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 13:21:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18099314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: Wade takes Peter out for a drive one day and offers to teach him to "drive stick"(It's exactly what you think it is.)





	Peter Learns to "Drive Stick"

“Oh my god, what is that?” Peter stared open mouthed at the  ~~vehicle truck~~ _contraption_ sitting in front of Wade’s storage locker. “What– what is _that?”_

“It’s a truck, Pete.” Wade said blandly, digging through a box of assorted keys before apparently finding the one he wanted. “When I asked if you wanted to go for a drive today, what did you think I meant?” 

“Honestly, I thought you meant sex.” Peter kept staring. “Not that you wanted to actually go for a drive in whatever this is. Babe this looks like a truck and a jeep had a baby and named it Volkswagen.” 

“Well, you’re not super wrong.” Wade scratched at his head as he looked the  _custom_ truck over. “Even though I only put the VW sticker on there because I thought it made me look cool.” 

“Oh my god.” 

“I promise its safe, Pete. A little wobbly and maybe a little rattly on the dirt roads but she runs like a champ. I’ve had her since I was a teenager.” 

“Running around in the wilds of Canada?” Peter asked dryly, peering in the surprisingly clean windows to get a look at the inside. “Because this looks like the sort of thing you’d find in the wilds of Canada. Just a free roaming truck-Jeep too feral to be put to any good use.” 

“I resent that. This baby–” Wade slapped the hood of the catastrophe cheerfully. “– she got me to and from every hootenanny and cook out I ever wanted.” 

“Hootenanny is the least sexiest word I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.” 

“Worse than when I said you looked good with  _splooge_ on your face?” 

“I take it back.” A long suffering sigh. “Hootenanny is the second least sexiest word I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth. By the way I was serious? The next time you tell me I have  _splooge_ on my face is the last time your dick gets anywhere near my lips.” 

“Heard and heard.” Wade grinned, entirely unrepentant. “So we going for a drive or what?” 

“I dunno.” Peter still looked unsure. “I mean, I’m not really one for drives in the country, besides–” he flushed a little. “–I’m not really comfortable, you know?” 

Wade looked at him blankly and Peter sighed out loud. “You are the literal worst. Remember when you jumped me in the shower this morning and then said ‘hey lemon whiskers, you know what would be hot’?”

“I remember you smacking me for calling you lemon whiskers….” Wade said slowly and if possible, Peter’s sigh was even louder. 

“Yeah, I smacked you for that. But then you said how you thought it would be hot if later today we fell back into bed and I was still–” Peter cleared his throat. “–full of you? Remember?” 

“Oh shit.” Wade breathed, eyes wide and mouth open, a literal picture of innocence if Peter hadn’t been so convinced his boyfriend was always up to no good. “Oh baby boy, I almost forgot. How are you doing?” 

Wade came around the monstrosity truck to put careful hands at Peter’s waist, gathering him close before palming over that always delightfully perky rear, kneading at the softness until his fingers crept down low and Peter whined a little, hiding his face in Wade’s shoulder. 

“Are you too uncomfortable for this sort of thing?” he asked roughly, grinding his hips forward into Pete and gently squeezing at him. “I forgot you were wearing a plug, baby.  _Christ_ that’s so sexy, I got so excited to take ol’ Nelda out–”

“…. _Nelda_?!” 

“She’s an old gal, she deserves an old name.” He said mildly, still grabbing big handfuls of Peter’s ass. “Seriously, how do you feel? Sore? Tender? We can stop and take it out if you want.” Wade groaned at the thought but tried to keep his voice steady. “We can just go home, honey. I really wasn’t thinking. It was just such a pretty day and I haven’t driven her in weeks and–” 

“It’s fine.” Peter relaxed against Wade, making a happy little sound when Wade only held him closer. “I should be alright for a short drive. Just no– no super bumpy roads, alright?” 

“Of course not.” Wade soothed him, dotting kisses at his ear. “We can take the old road that winds around the lake, it’s pretty well maintained and only a few miles. I’ll make this quick, Pete.” 

“Then we can go home.” Peter rocked forward suggestively. “Hm?” 

“Then we can go home.” Wade leaned away to kiss him on the lips. “Buckle up, sweet cheeks.” 

*******************

*******************

Nelda might have looked like something thrown together in an evil geniuses lab and used to race in the Wacky Races, but she started up perfectly, a low rumble and slightest vibration shaking the seats. 

“Nice, right?” Wade waggled his non existent eyebrows in Peter’s direction. “All those times I told you I was going to  _lube my chassis_ and you thought I was just watching terrible porn and having a wankfest? Totally wrong, I was out here working on my truck.” 

“Hm, the one time you say something that sounds like slang for jerking off and you aren’t actually jerking off?” Peter laughed at him. “Congratulations, you fooled me one time.” 

“Yeah, that’s right congratulations.” Wade muttered, and slid the truck into first gear, easing off the clutch so she wouldn’t jump forward. “You know how to drive a stick, Pete?” 

“I live in New York and also have webs.” Peter said flatly. “Why would I know how to drive anything, much less a vehicle that requires three pedals and a gear shift?” 

“I dunno, spider’s have extra legs. You should be able to handle it.” Wade mused, and got pennies from his change cup thrown at him for his efforts. “Ouch! Hey! Don’t slang change in Nelda! She might look like she puts out for quarters but shes a premium sort of gal.” 

“Are you going to talk about Nelda like she’s a real person the entire time?” Peter snarked. “Because I feel like that’s a little–” 

Peter suddenly went very very still, mouth snapping shut with an audible click, fingers digging into the seat cover. 

“Pete?” Wade glanced over at him, shifting smoothly into second gear as they left the parking lot, then up into third as they turned onto the main road. “You alright?” 

“Fine.” Peter squeaked, color climbing his cheeks until even his ears were red. “I’m just fine.” 

“Alright.” Wade didn’t seem quite convinced, but he fiddled with the dials of the radio until something twangy and guitar filled came on. “If you start getting car sick just let me know, I’ll pull over.” 

“Okay.” Peter squeaked again and Wade blew him a kiss, settling into the drivers side seat and opening Nelda up some more, the truck rumbling beneath them as he headed towards the lake front road. 

 _Oh god._  Peter turned to stare out the window, eyes purposefully wide as he watched a few blocks speed by, thinking about anything and everything he possibly to keep his mind off of what was happening. 

_Trees. Buildings. People. A dog. Another truck, I wonder if that guy named his truck, too. Probably something stupid like Bessie. More trees. Another building, oh no there’s a speed bump oh no oh no oh no–_

Peter’s eyes slid shut when Wade slowed down to ease over the speed bump, and he nearly bit his tongue off when Nelda dropped gears, growling and shaking through the transition before they were up to speed again. 

“Pete?” Wade asked worriedly. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” 

“God, I’m  _fine_.” Peter gasped and tried to lean back in the seat, acting as unaffected as he possibly could. “I’m just terrified out of my  mind over your driving skills. You’re a disaster when you walk, I don’t have much faith in you behind the wheel.” 

“Eh, that’s fair.” Wade laughed at him and went back to watched the road and Peter breathed a tiny tiny sigh of relief. 

No way was he going to tell his boyfriend that the slight rumble of  _fucking Nelda’s_ engine through the seats was making the plug shift inside him. He was absolutely not going to admit that every time Wade changed gears and the damn truck  _vibrated_ he was practically seeing stars, the plug lubed up and deep enough in side him to slide directly over his–

“Fuck.” Peter might have whimpered when Wade turned off the asphalt and onto a gravel road. “I thought– I thought you said the road was maintained?” 

“I meant maintained-ish?” Wade clarified, dropping Nelda back into second and letting her crawl along at barely twenty miles an hour. “As in, we won’t be dodging trees and giant potholes.”

“I hate gravel.” Peter muttered, grateful Wade couldn’t hear him over the noise of the road. “Oh god, I fucking  _hate_ gravel. Fucking bumpy pieces of stupid rock, I’m not going to survive this, I’m not going to survive–” 

Nelda rumbled over a particularly rough patch and Peter coughed to smother a moan, clenching his thighs together and dropping a hand casually over his lap to hide how hard his cock was. There was no way in hell he was going to admit to being turned on while in this stupid truck, Wade would never let him live it down. 

He was not turned on, he was perfectly capable of ignoring the plug, he was absolutely  _not_ wishing Wade would pull over and put him over the hood of this stupid contraption and fuck him six ways past Tuesday, he was not, he was not he was  _not_.  

“I’m sorry, baby.” Wade put Nelda in neutral and pulled the brake so the truck didn’t roll and Peter looked up in surprise. “You don’t look like you’re having any fun.” 

“I’m fine.” Peter managed, grateful that at least in neutral Nelda was still enough that he could actually breathe. “Really. Just a little distracted.” 

“Yeah?” Wade’s smile was a hopeful and a little shy and honestly so endearing that Peter felt bad for not paying better attention. “Do you want to learn how to drive her?” 

“Oh… uh, I don’t think that’s–” 

“It’s easy, she handles like a goddamn dream.” Wade motioned for Peter to crawl over the middle console. “Come here. I’ll work the pedals so you can just get a feel for when to shift, it will be fun.” 

“I–” Peter was ready to protest again but Wade held out his hand and _damn it_ he was a sucker for his boyfriend asking for anything with his hand held out so– “Ugh, alright. Just don’t let us go too fast. I’ve never driven anything besides my little scooter.” 

“Yay.” Wade put his seat back a little so Peter had room to climb onto his lap. “Alright, can you see over the dash alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Peter settled onto Wade’s thighs and had to smile, because honestly Wade’s lap was his favorite place to be, and when a strong arm came around his waist, he smiled even bigger. “I love you, babe.” 

“Baby boy.” Wade kissed his cheek. “I love you too. Ready for your first lesson?” 

“…sure?” 

“Here we go.” 

********************

********************

Peter was terrified to drive, but Wade’s voice in his ear was low and soothing as he talked him through the different gears and the usual speeds to shift at, how to listen to the engine to know when to release the clutch and all that sort of thing. 

“We’ll start real easy.” He said confidently, his hand over Peter’s on the gear shift. “I’ll handle the pedals, you watch the road and I’ll help you shift. Here we go, right into first.” 

Nelda started rolling with nothing more than a little jump and even though Peter’s fingers trembled at the steering wheel, at least he was too stressed about by driving to think about how good the rumble felt now that he was feeling it through Wade’s lap as well. 

“Hear the engine whining like that?” Wade asked. “Go ahead and shift into second.” Nelda vibrated through that change and Peter’s stomach swooped, his core clenching. “Yeah, second is a little rougher of a transition but once we’re in third–” Wade tapped the gauge on the dashboard. “See that? When the engine starts whining at you like that and the numbers get that high, it’s time to shift again, right into third here we go. See? She runs great at third.” 

Peter gulped when Wade readjusted, his hand sliding a little further up Peter’s thigh. “Yep. Runs great. Third.” 

“Relax.” Wade laughed quietly, rubbing at Peter’s leg. “You’re tense, baby boy. Driving a stick shift is fun. Makes you feel like a speed racer!” 

“We’re going like thirty five miles an hour, not exactly speed racing material.” Peter pointed out and then instantly realized his mistake. “BUT WE DON’T HAVE TO GO FASTER!” 

“Oh we’re definitely going faster.” Wade shoved down on the gas and Nelda leapt forward. “Shift, Pete! Fourth gear!” 

They tore down at the gravel road, knocking and shaking and rattling over the dips and bumps, and Peter held onto the steering wheel for dear life, letting Wade control everything else as they dropped gears to skid around corners then punched it back up for the straight away, taking the road along the lake far faster than was probably safe. 

But Peter found himself laughing about it, cradled safely between Wade’s thighs and leaning back into his chest it was fun to send Nelda’s back end fish tailing and gravel spitting up behind them, and it was fun to hear the truck race when Wade opened her up on a flat patch. 

“Let me show you my favorite spot.” Wade said and Peter squealed in delight when he took the truck right off the road, slowing down quite a bit to bump  over a side road that brought them to a clearing right by the lake, hidden from view by the trees. 

“Oh!” Peter sat up to get a better look. “Oh, it’s so pretty here.” 

“Sure is.” Wade let his seat back a little more and put the truck into neutral, popping the brake so Nelda just idled for them. “See? Driving is a blast.” 

“It’s sort of fun.” Peter admitted, shivering as the truck’s vibration grew stronger. “Why does it– why does she shake like this in neutral?” 

“Eh, I need to work on her a little bit.” Wade said offhandedly, brushing his lips over Peter’s neck before leaning back against the head rest. “But she’s an old truck and she’s got a big engine. Doesn’t run as smooth as the newer trucks but that’s what makes her fun.” 

“Hm.” Peter chewed at the inside of his cheek when Wade’s hands dropped from his waist to his hips, tantalizingly close to his ass. “Are we gonna sit here long, or–” 

“Not too long.” Wade tugged Peter against his chest, holding him firm at his hips with one hand, the other drawing idle circles at Peter’s stomach, slipping beneath the t shirt to press against warm skin. “Just wanna hold you for a bit, look out at the lake. That alright?” 

“Yeah.” Peter let his head fall back onto Wade’s shoulder, cramped but not uncomfortable in the drivers seat together. “Yeah, this is fine. Surprisingly fine. I didn’t know you were into Sunday afternoon drives by a lake.” 

“It might surprise you the things I’m into, pumpkin doodle.” Wade teased and Peter closed his eyes with a smile. 

The afternoon sun shone through the windows and kept them warm, a window down just enough to let in a slight breeze and the disconcerting arousal from earlier faded into something warm and lazy as Peter sat snug on Wade’s lap, the vibration of the truck not so much distracting now as it was sort of comforting, just a low sort of rumble that was more background—

“Oh.” Peter gasped when Nelda  _growled_ beneath them, Wade pressing at the gas just enough to rev the engine. “ _Fuck_. What are you doing?” 

“What are  _you_ doing?” Wade asked, palming over the length of Peter’s cock in his jeans. “How long you been hard, baby boy?” 

“ _Christ_.” Peter closed his eyes, lifting his hips automatically into the touch. “No, it’s not– I was just– it’s not really–” 

Another rev, another rumble and Peter saw stars when the vibration came straight through the seats and against the plug, shifting it inside him until it pressed at his prostate. 

“Oh my–” he bit at his lip trying not to whimper. “Babe, this is–” 

“Hmmmm.” Wade sounded positively devious as he worked the button and zipper at Peter’s jeans, easing them down his hips and hushing Peter’s half hearted protest. “Could it be that riding in my old truck is turning you on a teeny tiny bit, Pete?” 

“It’s definitely not.” Peter lied, gasping as Wade’s fingers dug into his cheeks, heading for the plug and Wade murmured, “Hug the steering wheel babe so I can see you, yeah that’s right, just like that.” 

Peter felt a little ridiculous like this, half standing in the drivers seat of Wade’s truck, hugging the steering wheel so his ass was up off Wade’s lap, his jeans down far enough at his thighs to effectively trap his legs together, but god the noise Wade made when his fingers found the base of the plug still stretching Peter open was worth it. 

“Uncomfortable, Pete?” Wade’s voice was nearly as low as the rumble of the truck, eager and wicked as he rotated the plug enough to make Peter cry out. “Want me to take this out?” 

“Wade–” Peter gulped in a rush of air. “We’re in public–” 

“No one can see us.” 

“–in your  _truck_ –”

“I’m game if you are, babe.” 

“–we can’t–we can-t–” Wade pressed down on the gas and Peter  _wailed_ , the vibration coming up from the floor, through his legs and straight to his cock. “Oh fuck are we really gonna do this?” 

“Only if you say yes.” Wade promised, teasing at the plug with his fingers, tracing the puffy rim as it clenched around the silicone. “Hm?” 

“Yes.” Peter dropped his forehead onto the steering wheel to hide his blush. “Wade, please.  _Please_.” 

“Ah, Pete.” Wade mouthed a kiss onto Peter’s back and then started to work the plug from Peter’s body, both of them groaning out loud as the modestly sized thing pulled free with a squelch, slick and slippery and coated with lube and strings of Wade’s come from earlier that morning. 

“ _Shit_ baby boy.” he moaned, one hand playing at Peter’s hole, the other shoving his own pants down. “Shit, I wish I could see you better right now. I’d eat you out till you fucking  _screamed_.” 

“Wade–” another rev of the engine, and Peter’s cock jumped, spurting sticky wet against the steering wheel. “–we can do that later, right now I just really need–” 

His head snapped back, mouth falling open when Wade just grabbed his hips and yanked him down and Peter cried out when he stretched around the thick cock, pleasure so sharp it was nearly painful as inch after inch filled him. 

“Yeah Pete.” Wade sounded absolutely  _wrecked_ , fingers digging in hard enough to leave bruises once Peter was sat all the way on his thighs. “Holy fuck, you’re still so tight even with the plug,  _damn it_  you feel good.” 

“Oh my god.” Peter couldn’t do much more than moan, effectively impaled on Wade’s lap and unable to spread his legs because of his jeans. “W-Wade–” 

“I got you baby, I got you just wait, just wait–” Wade revved the gas a few times and Peter nearly choked over it, over the rumble and the shudder of the big truck, over the way Wade’s cock jerked inside him. 

Wade slicked his hand over the still dripping plug then closed his palm over Peter’s cock, stroking him quickly and effortlessly and Peter about screamed. He wanted to move, wanted to thrust up into the slick grip, wanted to shove himself back onto Wade but he could barely move trapped like this between the steering wheel and the seat. 

“Fuck me.” he panted, whining and  _writhing_ and arching his back, scrabbling for a hold on anything to ground him. “Wade fuck me, damn it. Don’t just leave me like–AH!” Another press at the gas, longer this time until Peter could feel it clear through his core. “AH! Babe  _please_ –” 

“You can come like this.” Wade crooned in his ear, holding Peter down against his lap so he couldn’t move, stroking over Peter’s length until his boyfriend was babbling and rambling, clutching at him and clenching  _around_ him and– “please please please please–!” 

Wade had never loved the rickety old truck more than when he floored the pedal and engine  _roared_ and Peter  _screamed_ as he came apart in Wade’s palm, grinding back into Wade’s lap and holding white knuckled onto the steering wheel as he trembled through the trucks motion. 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Wade breathed when Peter finally went limp against him, pulsing weakly through one last tremor, shaking in Wade’s arms. “Pete that was amazing.” 

“ _Mmmblregh_.” Peter mumbled listlessly and Wade chuckled, pressing gentle kisses every where he could reach. “Wade….” 

“Yeah baby boy.” Wade lifted his hips, still hard inside Peter and definitely ready to finish. “What do you need?” 

“….M’staring to suspect you didn’t forget about my plug.” Peter said tiredly. “And that you knew this rust bucket would get me all hot and bothered.” 

“I might have.” Wade hedged, pumping the gas a little just to hear Peter whimper. “Are you mad about it?” 

“Mmmm, no.” Peter sighed and stretched, tightening around Wade hard enough to make him groan. “Good driving lesson babe. Top notch. I think I’m good enough to get my license now.” 

“Uh no, I don’t think the lesson is  _quite_ over yet.” Wade rubbed against him again. “One more thing left to do, yeah?” 

“Nah.” Peter shook his head. “I think we should head back to the storage yard, put this girl back to bed. You ready?” 

“Are you-” Wade pushed down at the clutch and Peter shifted into first, Nelda growling beneath them and about making Wade white out. “Oh holy shit, you wanna drive her again?” 

“Scoot your chair up.” Peter wriggled impatiently and Wade obeyed in an instant, scooting up far enough so Peter could see over the dash and reach the gear shift easily. “There we go.” Another little wriggle and Wade really thought he might pass out. “You gonna make it?” 

“Let’s go slow.” Wade managed through clenched teeth and Peter’s giggle was practically evil. “I don’t know how long I’m gonna last like this.” 

“I’ll tell you what.” Peter craned his neck around to lay a sweet kiss on Wade’s lips. “When you think I’ve gotten good enough at driving  _stick_ –” he sat a little harder on Wade’s lap for emphasis. “– we can call it a day.” 

“This is going to be an all day lesson.” Wade warned and Peter only grinned.

“Challenge accepted.” 


End file.
